More Effective Communication through Body Language

In a recent blog, Deborah Gruenfeld of the Stanford Graduate School of Business had some interesting things to say about women, men, body language and the workplace.

“When it comes to leadership there are very few differences in what men and women actually do and how they behave.  But there are major differences in perception.  Men and women doing the same things are perceived and evaluated differently.” However, women “may be able to navigate this trade-off through non-verbal behavior.”

While this double standard isn’t fair, it is fact, at least for now. So how can you increase the power behind your body language right now?

Horses are experts at non-verbal communication and body language–and darn good teachers, too.

Remember all those National Geographic specials with the herd of zebras grazing on the savannah and the lion nearby? Those zebras are keenly aware by his body language whether that lion walking by is out for an afternoon stroll or an afternoon snack and they react accordingly.

Horses read our body language like a book as soon as they are aware of us. Are you confident? Unsure or fearful? A little or a lot? Do you want the horse to “like” you? Are you annoyed or distracted by something or someone?

Horses respond to our energy and intent. When it’s clear to them what we are asking of them, they respond authentically. That doesn’t necessarily mean they do what you want them to do.  There are elements of respect, rapport, trust and communication that are involved. Does he believe you are more in control of the situation than he is? Is she willing to trust you with her safety?

A horse will tell you honestly about the strength of your presence. Does she move when you ask her to? How far and how fast? What emotions did you need to tap into in order to cause something to happen? How much energy did it require? The answers to these questions will give you insight into how others see you.

There are so many parallels between the arena and the office.

One of our clients was feeling very attacked and vulnerable at work—she felt bullied. Working in the arena this was played out with our horses when she would try to work with Flo but Roxy constantly invaded her space and pushing her around.

“I just want her to stay in her space!” the client said in frustration about Roxy.

We challenged her to use her body language to create an area for Roxy to stay in and another space for herself and Flo.

While she wasn’t successful in keeping Roxy in her designated space, Shannon did succeed in keeping Roxy out of the space designated for Flo and Shannon. Our client concluded that actually, as long as Roxy didn’t invade their space, that was OK.

Applying what she learned in the arena to her office environment, she felt empowered to handle things at the office and with good results. She learned to manage herself and the situation from a place of strength rather than being intimidated. Both Roxy and her work colleagues noticed a change and changed their response to the client.

Do you feel as empowered as you would like?
How do others interpret your body language?
How do you handle uncomfortable situations with co-workers?

Whether your challenge is personal or professional, interacting with horses will give you honest feedback. You’ll have the information you need to choose to grow into a better person.

We offer individual and small group workshops on personal growth and leadership. If growing stronger as a person is important to you, why not contact us and set up your own session?