Hi. My name’s Flo.

I’ve been told my name suits me and that it doesn’t suit me. My person says the name Flo reminds her of the sassy “Kiss my grits” character on a TV show (whatever that is) called ‘Alice.’ That’s certainly not me.

I think maybe those humans have been spelling my name wrong. If they’d spell it Flow, that would suit me better as I’m often described as having a “go with the flow” kind of attitude.

Yes, that describes me much better. But not always. Let me share with you some of my other characteristics and see if they remind you of anyone you work with. I hope that you’ll recognize that no matter what our “horse-enality” or our role in the herd (or at work) we all have value.

I may go with the flow, but I don’t necessarily get it started. I’m not a brilliant visionary full of creative ideas, but when you include me in your vision; I’ll work hard to help you bring it to fruition.

I am a great team player. I’m happy in the middle and have no need to be the best and brightest every single moment of the day. What I do need, however, is feedback from you that what I’m doing meets or exceeds your expectations.

I can handle pressure when it’s fair and I understand what’s being asked of me. However when I don’t understand what you want, adding more pressure doesn’t cause me to understand things faster, it causes my brain seize up and stop working.

Our communication will improve and we’ll get a lot more accomplished if you can clearly tell me what you expect and I make sure I’ve heard you correctly.

I really do want to do the right thing. I may try several ideas that aren’t quite right. Rather than getting all over my case about it, remind me that we’re doing this together. (Remember, I love being part of your team.) A little encouragement will go a long way. Not only will I feel better about myself, but my trust in you as a leader will grow, also.

I may not be a leader—but if everyone’s trying to lead at the same time, there’s no one left to follow. If no one’s following can you really call yourself a leader?

No-I’m not a leader, but I do have an important role to play on your team. I’m the workhorse (literally, here). Recognize the value I bring to the team. Remember to encourage me. Model good character and integrity and watch me grow for you.

If you’d like to meet me in person to effectively improve your or your team’s communication, contact us at www.HerdWise.net. The gate to our arena’s always open to you.

There’s a cool little challenge out there that involves a word and a commitment.

The idea is that you choose one word to apply to the coming year. Our family did this a couple of years ago and found it to be a fun and interesting way to engage and encourage each other.

I was recently reminded of this challenge and the word that came to my mind instantly was ALLOW.

One of the big revelations I’ve had in my life lately is that I try too hard to make things happen rather than setting them up an allowing them to happen. I do this in my business, my personal life, with my horses. Patterns, right?

Think about it-”make” implies there’s some resistance whereas “allow” implies freedom to choose. This philosophy may seem a bit backward in our goal-oriented, “go for it or die trying” culture, but I believe that changing how I think about this will work better for me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals or will be ignoring deadlines. It does mean that I will give up the attachment to the outcome. I will set things up, influencing the best way I can and then ALLOW whatever happens.

Where did I gain this insight? From the horses, of course! “Allowing” works much better with them than “making.” You’ve heard of the saying, “Man changed against his will is of the same opinion still.” The same also applies to horses.

If you want more ideas on choosing and applying your word, visit One Little Word here.

I encourage you to choose a word for 2012. When you do, please share it and the reason you chose it. It can have a powerful effect on whatever you “allow.”

Few would argue that it’s important to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

However, despite the research that supports working on our strengths rather than our weaknesses we tend to pay more attention to the parts of ourselves where we’re weak while taking our strengths for granted.

Working on our weaknesses will improve them incrementally. But working on your strengths will improve them exponentially and has the potential to propel you further than you ever thought possible.

Strengths Finders 2.0 is a fantastic tool for assessing your innate talents and developing those talents into real strengths. With decades of research from the Gallup organization, the book has a code in the back that you enter into an online tool where you take the test. (Don’t buy a used book. The code is only good once.)

Here’s a little research to support paying more attention to what you’re good at.

Back in the 1950s a University of Nebraska professor wanted his students to retain more of the information he was assigning them to read. It was decided to put the freshman class through a speed-reading course. Prior to the course, all students were tested to see what their current reading/comprehension rate was. The students’ reading rates ranged from 90 words per minute (wpm) to 300 wpm. It was believed that the 90 wpm students would increase a great deal, but that the students who read at 300 wpm were already at the upper end of their ability and would therefore have a smaller percentage increase in their reading speed.

At the end of the six week course, the reading rates were tested again for all the students. As predicted, the 90 wpm students reading rate increased approximately 60% to 140 wpm.  Very respectable. However, the 300 wpm students reading rate increased to 2970 words per minute—an increase of nearly 1000%!

The reason for the incredible increase was that the 300 wpm students already possessed a talent for reading quickly. Imagine how that same exponential increase could affect your life if you concentrated your efforts on your strengths.

Just in case you’re wondering, my strengths according to Strengths Finders 2.0 are:

Connectedness: I have faith in the interconnectedness of all things.
Ideation: I’m fascinated with ideas and able to find connections between them.
Intellection: I love to think.
Empathy: I can sense the feelings of others.
Futuristic: I’m inspired by the future and the vision I have for it.

I’d love to hear what your strengths are. Please let me know the results of your assessment!

To quote a famous horseman, “Horses are natural followers. They’re just looking for natural leaders.”

They follow well those who lead them well, whereas when we use fear, force or intimidation to try to communicate with a horse, we get fear, resentment and bad attitude.

They aren’t so different from us, are they?

We humans like to be in control and believe we’re doing the right things. However, we often ignore feedback from those we want to lead. Do we see eagerness and a desire for collaboration in our people or laziness and resentment?

Here’s a little comparison of a “boss” and a leader that I got from a friend. Which one do you have the most experience with?

A boss creates fear; a leader creates confidence.

A boss breeds resentment; a leader breeds enthusiasm.

A boss says, “I”; a leader says “we.”

A boss blames others; a leader takes responsibility.

A boss knows how; a leader shows how.

A boss makes work drudgery; a leader makes work interesting.

A boss relies on authority; a leader relies on cooperation.

A boss drives; a leader leads.

There is a difference.

I’m eager to hear your own thoughts on the difference between a boss and a leader in the space below. Please share your experiences!

We try so hard NOT to fail. What if failure was the exact thing standing between you and success? Of course, you don’t know that until after you’ve failed, but it takes courage to make mistakes confidently.

Failure gives us something to push against, something to defeat. It drives us toward improvement and mastery. We become more of who we are when we accept our failures as part of ourselves, part of our journey, rather than trying to hide them.

I’ll be the  first to admit, however, that I don’t like to fail. I’m sitting here trying to think of a time in my life where I failed. It’s not fun. One instance that comes to mind is my attempt at collaborating with a local university. After initial excitement on their part, the more we talked, the more expectations were not met. It was deflating. However, the lessons I learned from it have been valuable and I can implement them as I enter conversations with other educational institutions.

Failure teaches.

For more reading on failure, here’s an interesting post from the Harvard Business Review.

What has failure taught you?

When you share a common experience with others it brings you closer together.

You learn about each other on a personal level– strengths and weaknesses, different backgrounds. You’re better able to understand and value others– and yourself– as individuals with varied experiences, thoughts and philosophies.

A team building workshop provides that common experience for a group of coworkers.

Imagine you’re in an arena with a couple of horses roaming around. You and your team are asked to move one of the horses from its current spot in the arena to a position opposite that. How will your team accomplish this task?

Let me give you a hint: The patterns that occur in the office will become evident in how the team works with the horses.

At our workshops, I hear time and time again, “That’s just how it happens at work!” Suddenly and simultaneously, everyone else becomes aware of what the problem is. Once the problem is known, a solution can be found.

A common experience where people “see” the same thing at the same time from the same perspective is incredibly powerful!

One team realized they had been willing to sit around and watch other team members struggle. Another team realized that the nitty gritty details were severely hindering their ability to fulfill the vision they had for themselves. The team in this 20 second video clip became aware that there were outside issues that were driving their organization off-course.

What issues might you be having that you may not even be aware of?

This kind of insight can be applied to more than just one problem. Going forward, the whole team now has a context they can apply to many areas of their work. One of our clients told us, “We use the metaphor of ‘moving the horse’ quite a bit here. It’s become part of our spoken culture.” Other clients have similar reports regardless of industry or business type.

As we come into the holiday season, I hope you’ll consider a gift of a shared experience for your team. Your 2012 will surely benefit!

We offer complimentary taster sessions so you can experience the power of the horses for yourself. Contact us today to reserve your spot in the arena.

www.HerdWise.net

Work-Life Balance seems to be one of those elusive things that people, especially women are always trying to achieve, but rarely feel like we succeed.

So, what exactly IS balance?

Dictionary.com defines it as 1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc. 2.mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

How would it feel if you achieved balance? To me, it would mean I am meeting my needs and the needs of the other people in my life. I’m developing my business, taking care of my family, animals and home simultaneously and seamlessly and there is harmony all around. I am energized and don’t feel depleted.

How many of you reading this think that picture is pretty much a fantasy? I do!

I hereby give you permission to let go of Utopia. Let’s see how this works in real life.

First of all, let’s consider “balance” as a verb—something you do, rather than a state of being.

Now think of your life as a balance board.  If you’ve ever tried one of these things, you soon realize that there’s no such thing as holding still and balancing on the board. Balance is not a static state of being. The reality is that there are only very short moments in time when you’re NOT making some adjustment. One second you’re too much to the left, then too much to the right. You’re in constant motion.

Whoa! You nearly lost your balance!

And what happens when you do? You simply start over again just like you’d do in real life.

Awareness and practice are the keys to making smaller adjustments on the balance board as well as in life. The more aware you are of when you need to adjust, the less you’ll have to do.

Practice is necessary, too. If you never get on the board, you’ll never get good at it. And if you don’t practice making adjustments that keep you in the middle of the board, then you’ll be stuck making big corrections that make everyone unhappy.

Work-Life balance is elusive because it’s something that can’t be caught. It’s not a noun but a verb.

For centuries, horses have been a part of war.You might say that horses have been veterans for as long as people have been veterans.  There’s a memorial to Animals in War in London that took my breath away when I saw it. It’s so engaging–it draws you in. And it really hits you when you see the words, “They had no choice.”  All those horses–and other animals–who so faithfully served, truly had no say in the matter.

Horses are still deployed to the front lines. U.S. Special Forces use them in the rugged mountains of Afghanistan. However, horses are also helping soldiers on the other side of the battlefield to heal from the effects of PTSD, traumatic brain injury and to readjust to normal life.  Those of us who interact with horses on a regular basis are well acquainted with the powerful mental and emotional support horses can give.  It’s a blessing to be able to share these benefits with those who fight for freedom.

This Veterans Day, I urge you to consider a donation to an organization that partners with horses to help our warriors. Heart Rocks Therapy provides individual, group and family counseling free of charge to soldiers. Rocky Top Therapy Center is another great organization serving our military and their families through horses. Operation Once in a Lifetime and the Snowball Express don’t utilize horses, but are wonderful organizations that support our troops.

To the 1% who fight for the freedom of the 99%, we thank you for your selfless and valiant service.

One of the tenets of the equine assisted learning model that I use is to be “solution focused. ” But what does that mean exactly? Don’t we always focus on the solution? Well…not really.

How many times have you tried to solve a problem by understanding why it happened? It can feel productive to talk about the problem, to learn about it and analyze it. While that knowledge can be valuable, it only concerns things in the past—things that can’t be changed no matter how much knowledge we have of the situation.  Focusing on the solution is much more productive.

In his book Quiet Leadership, author David Rock says that  “being conscious of removing the word “why” from our conversations can be a great way to remember to focus on solutions. ” How many of the following examples look familiar to you?*

Problem Focus	Solution Focus
Why didn’t you hit your target	What do you need to do next time to hit your targets?
Why did this happen?	What did you want to achieve here?
Where did it all start to go wrong?	What do you need to do to move this forward?
Why do you think you’re not good at this?	How can you develop strength in this area?
What’s wrong with your team?	What does your team need to do to win?
Why did you do that?	What do you want to do next?
Who’s responsible for this?	What do we need to do to make this work?

 

In the human world, we may have an issue meeting our goals because we are afraid we’ll fail. Perhaps we’ve made a “BHAG” (big, hairy audacious goal) and it just terrifies us. Often we’ll spend time trying to figure exactly what we’re afraid of and why, rather than just taking that first step toward the goal. Being stuck in “understanding the problem” keeps us from discovering solutions and moving forward.

When interacting with the horses, you quickly discover that focusing on the solution gets you to your goal much faster. Let’s say your task is to get a horse to stand on a tarp and this is not something he’s ever seen before. It’s pretty likely that the horse is going to be afraid of the tarp. If you spend your time trying to figure out WHY he’s afraid, he’ll never stand on the tarp. On the other hand, concentrating on moving toward the goal in small increments –getting him comfortable standing 10 feet from the tarp, 4 feet from the tarp, stepping on the tarp for 2 seconds then longer, etc.—you’ll fare much better in accomplishing your goal. And the horse will feel good about it, too.

Being solution focused may seem like a minor shift in thinking, but it has major implications.

If all we ever do is discuss a problem without offering solutions, then we’re no different from a person who makes a fuss just for the sake of making a statement. Demonstrations are great for creating awareness of a problem, but at some point, we must focus on solutions if we are to move forward.

*excerpted from Quiet Leadership by David Rock.

Admit it—we’d all like to be perfect. However, in her book,  The Gifts of Imperfection author Brene’ Brown discusses courage, compassion and connection as the gifts we receive when we’re willing to accept our less than perfect selves. She urges us to ‘live wholeheartedly.”

She explores the power of love, belonging and being enough as well as shame and worthiness–two other things that really get in our way.

Most of us are not even aware of how inauthentic we can be in any situation. We’re on auto pilot–just getting things done so we feel like we have value. These are shame-based thoughts that we must own if we want to have the gifts of imperfection.

“…we’ve worked hard to make sure everything looks “just right” on the outside. The stakes are high when it comes to truth telling. This is why shame loves perfectionists–it’s so easy to keep us quiet.”

To me authenticity is about your inside thoughts and feelings matching your outside behaviors and actions. In the first of ten Guideposts, Dr. Brown shows readers how to cultivate authenticity. Further in the book she discusses self-compassion, gratitude and joy, creativity, joy and doing meaningful work among other topics. Dr. Brown shares personal stories that will resonate with you whether you’re a parent or a working professional. She urges us to discover our authenticity and act it out not as a self- focuses exercise, but as a gift to others as well as ourselves.

I’ll be taking the lessons learned here to the arena with my horses. With horses it’s impossible to be inauthentic. They respond ONLY to what is real. You may act like a hard driving, confident boss at the office, but if your true self is softer, the horse will respond to the authentic you. Interacting with the horses is an excellent way to check your authenticity.

Do your insides match your outsides or are you just putting on a good show for others and for yourself?